TW: Loss, Other people's pregnancies, Other people's abortions. New poster, though I've lurked here and there over the past several months... I read the rules and I'm not sure if i need to TW or spoiler anything (let me know if I do anything wrong, mods!). Introduction: I've been TTC#2 (trying for a second pregnancy) since January, after a very traumatic first pregnancy with Mono Di twins that ended at 24+6 due to preterm labor in June of last year. My Twin A passed after 7 days in the NICU due to complications of extreme prematurity, and Twin B spent 109 days in the NICU before coming home. It's been a frustrating TCC journey thus far, with long cycles, short LPs, and frustrating pre-conception appointments with MFMs that bring up more questions than answers about why my first pregnancy ended when it did and how to approach future pregnancies.

My rant: My BIL and SIL just announced they're pregnant with #2. Their first child was born three months before our twins, at term, after a normal pregnancy. They were pregnant again shortly after (not intentionally) and elected to end the pregnancy due to issues in their personal lives - but things are seemingly better now, I guess. I'm not happy for them - I feel crushed, upset, and jealous. I don't want to feel this way, but our family feels so incomplete and theirs is growing. We lost a baby that so was wanted and are trying pretty aggressively for #2, they're choosing what babies they want to have. My son was supposed to have a twin, and all I want for him is a sibling close in age to grow up with so he has someone. I hate that I'm comparing, I don't like that I'm not happy... its just so hard being a loss parent and navigating a life you never imagined for yourself.