Some Intimate Nines get involved with two partners and can’t decide between them, a pattern of triangulation

I have had this exact issue. Neither partner could meet my needs independently at the time. The healthy thing in that situation would have been to realize such, cut them both off, and be by myself until I could find such a person.

However, 9s hate separation so I let it carry on for far too long. I cheated, then couldn't decide between the two of them. It was terrible and I've done a huge amount of self-reflection since that occurred.

I think the main issue is that 9s are amicable people and as a result, have an easy time getting into relationships. But since our core fear is separation AND we are prone to merging, we have a very difficult time ending them. If 9s are unhappy or their needs aren't met, they might cheat rather than break-up due to their fear of separation.

I do absolutely believe that 9s can be committed in relationships if they are dating someone they truly want to be with. 9s overlook people's flaws, try to see the good in everyone, BUT when it comes to relationships, this can become a problem. 9s need to be critical and do some self-reflection at the outset of a relationship to determine if it is right for them.

Through my own self-reflection, I realized that I absolutely SUCK at ending even the most terrible, abusive relationships. I also get into relationships even if I doubt that the other person is right for me. I've decided that I'm only going to get into another relationship if I can truly see myself spending the rest of my life with that person.