This will be more of a 'Life Experiences' log, but here you go...

I think my life has always had some measure of volatility.

As a young kid, I was noted for being particularly rebellious. A key trait for me, to this day, is that you cannot force me to do anything. Not without a fight, and not without me boiling with rage and resentment beneath the surface if I'm unable to get out of the situation. A few examples from my childhood:

1. Tried running from school, and was tackled by the dean.
2. Once tried jumping from my parents vehicle when they tried to take me to school.
3. Once used a chair to block my door when my parents tried to take me to a family reunion I didn't want to go to. Like what you'd see in the movies.
4. Was pretty 'territorial', as I put it, toward my bedroom. Would physically block anyone from entering the room unless I told them that they could come in.
5. Would frequently be defiant toward anything I didn't want to do. If people continued to bother me, I'd only get angrier and angrier.

Eventually my family came to know not to try to drag me anywhere around the time I was twelve or thirteen. While it was never my intention, my overall mood and boiling resentment would often ruin the experience for everyone involved, to which I'd remind them I never wanted to be there in the first place.

Even to this day, I refuse to do anything that I don't care to do. As I used to say when discussing my political opinions - "It would be easier to shoot me in the head than to try to force me into something I don't want to do."

It's for this reason that I am unapologetic about who I am, and what I want out of life. It's also because of my stubborn refusal to simply go along with the group that I have an issue with 'fake' individuals. People who put up a facade to avoid conflict with others. I'd sooner abandon the group altogether than stay with a group that I didn't want to be a part of.

It's also for this reason that my father and I had a difficult relationship. He and I were polar opposites, and still are. Much more sociable, high energy, emotionally expressive, and so on. Whereas I've always been known for being 'stoic', quiet, and serious. We also have virtually zero shared interests. Used to get into shouting matches about political and religious matters. Fortunately, while I have no feelings toward him at all anymore (I let go of the hate I used to have for him a while ago when I realized it wasn't doing me any good), we have come to any understanding in my adult life. If anything, he's come to trust me the most out of our family because he knows I will tell him exactly how I feel. The one thing I learned from my experiences with him was that there are some people in this world who you cannot reason with - they will believe what they want to believe, and refuse to entertain the idea that they're wrong.

Worth noting before we continue on that I am not an outwardly confrontational or difficult person. Most people who know me simply know that I'm quiet, 'stoic', can be funny when I want to be, and that I'm very private about my life. Hell, you'd be surprised to know that I'm probably the person my family has pretty much no issues with nowadays because they know what to expect from me and how I am as a person. Even things that do irritate me, I might not say much about them unless they directly impact me.

There are effectively three key traits for me for my entire life:

1. That I do whatever I feel like doing on a given day.
2. That I want to be alone.
3. That I will resist anything and everything that interferes with the first two.

On the more positive side, despite everything, I had a great relationship with my mother. A few of my favorite childhood memories are when she'd pick me up from school every friday night, and we'd go get some food and a couple of movies from Blockbuster. Despite how difficult I could be when I was a kid, she stuck it out and we ended up becoming close as I got older and matured. Today, she's admitted to me that I'm the only person she feels like she can talk to about her own problems.

Both of my parents also came to accept that I was introverted and that I preferred to stay in my room the vast majority of the time. Most of my free time was spent playing solo video games, watching YouTube, or doing research on topics that captured my interests. For this reason, most of my later teenage years were actually pretty positive. Explicitly because my parents and I came to an understanding, and they allowed me to enjoy what I enjoyed without trying to force me into the things they wanted to do. They respected that I'm a loner and don't want to be around other people most of the time.

I'm also quite close to my maternal grandmother. Albeit that she knows I'm self-interested while she's devoted to traditional family values. The two of us have a history of being more conscious about the long-term future, while both of my parents are more in-the-moment. The most common example being that my grandmother and I are quite careful with our money, me because of my long-term goals of becoming financially independent and truly free to live as I please, while my parents often immediately spend any money that they earn on restaurants, movies, and novelties. Generally though, if I ever needed someone to talk to when I was a kid, she was the one I could go to, and I'm glad she was there to listen.

I think that covers most of it. Your thoughts?