My ex is the most attractive person I've ever dated. When we first met, I thought the same things you did. He could never like me, he's out of my league, he's too good looking, he looks like he belongs with some ridiculously beautiful woman, etc. Toxic and self-deprecating thinking. Within months, we had become close friends. One night we were at dinner and he asked if I ever thought about dating him and of us being together. Internally, I was having a meltdown out of happiness and disbelief. I couldn't believe what was happening let alone what he was asking. We ended up having the most intense relationship and not the good kind. For 2.5 years, I was insecure because I just couldn't accept that he wanted to be with me despite us being in love. Whenever we went out, girls would stare at him and some even stopped just to tell him how he good looking he was. People actually asked me how I managed it since I'm average and he's well above. When you're already insecure, you can imagine what outside judgements and opinions can do. After going through that, I promised myself to work on my insecurities. He was drawn to me in the beginning because of how I held myself. I was confident and didn't create my own obstacles or stories as to why he should be with someone better. One of the last things he said to me was, "Your insecurities were hard to handle. I loved you but it wasn't enough. I can't be your confidence. You have to stand on your own first." Those damn words stuck with me until now. It's been a year and half since we last spoke. I made the mistake of letting the love of my life go because I couldn't accept/believe that someone like him would want a girl like me.

Basically law of attraction really does come to you. There's no reason you should feel like you can't have the beautiful girlfriend. As you said, you're good looking, fit, and well spoken. The only thing standing in your way now is yourself. It wasn't until my break up that I finally understood what it meant to truly love and respect the person that I am - faults and all. We only get the love we believe we deserve. If you put yourself down, the people you attract will play on your insecurities one way or another. Intentionally and unintentionally.

How I overcame my doubts was simply writing my fears down. Once everything was in front of me, I kept re-reading what I wrote. It didn't take long to notice a pattern. I had been living on assumptions. If someone tells you you're wonderful but you feel like a sack of trash, it won't matter right? Your mind is already set on being negative and not good enough. Learn to love yourself. Be kind to the person you want to become and understand that it's a process. It took me a few years to get here but I'm happier than ever. If I had respected myself as much as I do now, I don't doubt that my ex and I would still be together.

I've been where you are and it's not a good place to be. It's hard but don't sell yourself short. I mentioned in another post about Brené Brown's "Rising Strong." That book helped me make amends with my past and how I approach insecurities. Worth the read if you have the time. Best of luck to you!