This is probably the most fucked up thing I've ever read on reddit. I really hope this is some sick fetish and not a real thing that occurred, because I want to puke.

By now you probably realize you've fucked up bad and that he's probably going to tell the therapist/friends/teacher/someone else that you """punished him physically"""... a fucking 14 year old, and that is likely going to get the State's interest provided you're in a civilized one and not some ass backwards place like Texas or Mississippi.

I honestly hope your son gets as far away from you as possible right now and to somewhere safe where teenage angst/sexuality/curiosity/unease isn't met with physical abuse. You make think your home is safe for your son, but it isn't right now, not with a mindset like yours.

In addition to your son, YOU need help.

You're not in a good place mentally. I get being upset that your 14 year old son is having anonymous sex with strangers older than him, but this is the most insignificant issue of the things you've described. What made you think it's okay to assault your son? What makes you think he'll want any relationship at this point? What makes you believe he won't hide everything from you this point going forward? These are not normal relationship dynamics, gay or straight. I get you don't understand the LGBT community that well, but this is literally why so many gay guys have "daddy issues".

You have emasculated your son, subjected him to the fears (and sometimes trauma) every gay guy has had of coming out, abused him, embarrassed him beyond belief and for what? You say you hope you guys can eventually pull through it, but I say this with 100% seriousness that these are the sorts of things that drive people in their teens to suicide, drugs, and running away from home, especially LGBT people who feel so out of place in society at that age.

If this situation is all true I honestly want to cry; you reacted how every 14 year old gay guy fears, yet you're busy planning a night out just the two of you.

Pray, this is all you can do at this point, this will be the low point of your relationship with your son and perhaps as a man provided you don't fuck this up worse. I don't even know if your relationship is salvageable at this point, I wouldn't talk to you for years if I were him, and trust me, teens do this, I haven't talked to my father is 7 years and I'm 23.