I’ve been in your shoes twice… 1) they always act cool about what you do in the beginning and then eventually guilt or lure you into quitting with offers to take care of you 2) they seem like a dream man in the beginning and spoil tf out of you, but wait to show their true nature once they feel they’ve truly “got” you, sometimes it takes a year or two. One was high functioning heroin addict that threatened to blackmail me when I wanted to leave, the other a terribly emotionally abusive narcissistic sociopath that tricked me in to living with him and became insanely cruel. They all seem like Prince Charming until the chase is over babe.