You saved your cousins life. On his 21st birthday you all go out to celebrate soberly. A thug bumps shoulders with him on the way to the bowling ally and he just can't let it go. In the resulting struggle a gun is fired at your cousin and strikes your child in the head causing instant death.
Your cousin tries to console you over the following months but both your lives are in ruins with the loss and grief. You can not get it out of your head that this was your fault for altering history. He can not forgive himself and falls back into drugs harder than ever.
In a night of absolute desperation and insanity from a week of no sleep and drug fueled binges he tries to impregnate you to replace your lost child. It is his only recourse, in his lost mind, to make things right. Your screams and struggles do not dissuade him. It is for your own good. His own good. The only way to fix this. Every time you scream he whispers in your ear "Shhh, it will be ok"
He kills himself in prison just three months after being sentenced for your rape. He wrote a letter to you, his last thoughts, that you will never read. Your mind is bent. You can not abort the child growing in you. Wrong is right, right is wrong. You can not bring yourself to do it.
The combination of the events of your life and twenty years of raising a genetically disabled child has taken its toll. You are a shell of a human that only exists to occasionally yell at your son or to light up another cigarette from the cherry of your last.
You are too far gone to notice the neighbors complaining about your son trapping and taking their cats has stopped. You do not notice the smell from the basement over the tooth decay and Paul Mall residue in your mouth. You haven't been up the stairs in years so you will never see the dozens of purses, piles of tatter clothing and shoes your boy has been playing with.
Your last bit of fortune in this world is that you will never know the monster you have brought into it. He doesn't stop until well after you have passed away from this life.