First-time poster on reddit, forgive me if this isn't the place to post stuff like this. I did read the posting rules, but they specifically said not to post individual threads for critique, and the other pinned critique thread seemed like it was for whole stories instead of just parts.
Anyway, I'm toying around with the magic system in my story (hesitate to call it a book because that sounds pretentious), and I'd like some feedback on some exposition that I've used to explain some of its inner workings. I'll just copy-paste the excerpt down below.
“The nosebleeds, the falling unconscious, is that normal for you?” He almost hesitated to ask the question. In practical terms that meant nothing, but Jun noted the reticence in himself even if a spectator couldn't have noticed it.
Lilith shook her head, and then grimaced when that seemed to cause her more pain. “Only with certain spells, and only when I skip important steps.” She likely sensed the question before he could ask it. “Arcana is a human creation, an artificial construct, a tool, that lets a select few harness what is essentially an infinite force. Arcana takes the Weave of reality and allows a Sorcerer or Sorceress like myself to exploit it. The problem is that the human brain didn't naturally evolve the ability to comprehend infinity.”
Slowly, hesitantly, as if worried that doing so might cause her head to spring another leak, she pulled her hand away from her temple. When it seemed like she was in the clear, she brought it forth and sparked a light upon her fingertip. “Some runes conceptualize infinity in ways that are easier for the brain to understand.”
She traced the glyph that looked like a left-pointing angle bracket. “Kaunaz is the rune of fire and knowledge. The latter is a little obscure, but fire is easy to comprehend. Fire is a property that can be ascribed to an object. Something like gunpowder, sulfur, or gasoline would be a good example. If I take something like that, then I can use it as a material component in a spell, and by doing so, change the purpose of the spell. The goal will no longer be the creation of fire from the Weave itself, but rather, the use of a small fraction of the Weave's power to ignite the object I've already provided, followed by the redirection of the resultant flames. I'm no longer attempting to exploit infinity, I'm attempting to exploit the object with a portion of infinity.” She smiled. “It might seem like a small distinction, but it would hold up in court.”
Even now, with a significant fraction of her body weight lost in liquid form across various patches of ground, Lilith could still summon up that stupid pride of hers when discussing her magic. It honestly amazed Jun.
The Kaunaz glyph faded into darkness as she traced another in its place: that same straight downward line that she had used before to freeze the bullets in place. The same downward line that had, by her own admission, nearly killed her. “This is the Isa rune, and it's a real complicated bitch compared to Kaunaz.” Her smile shifted into a grin.
“Isa is the rune of stillness, cosmic coherence, and immutability. Does that sound like a natural property you can find in an object? Do you think there's a type of wood out there that can be burned to induce stasis in the space-time continuum? A kind of insect that can be eaten to freeze a person's motion through universal constancy?” She laughed, and then grimaced again when that too seemed to make her head hurt.
“No?” Jun said, feeling strangely uncertain in spite of the fact that the questions were obviously rhetorical.
“No.” She agreed. “There isn't, and that means that using this rune, and any spells associated with this rune, requires the caster to manipulate the Weave directly. And when you do that, there are limitations you have to bear in mind. Compromises you have to make. One of those compromises is the choice between 'Safe but Weak', or 'Dangerous but Powerful.' In either case, you're not going to be able to hold the effect for very long.”
This exposition comes in at the fourth chapter, somewhere around 40 thousand words in. I understand that you can't really examine the merits/purpose of an individual piece of exposition without the surrounding context, because without knowing the scene before or after it you can't really say whether or not it slows pacing or weakens the atmosphere or whatever. However, there are still some questions I'd like answered from an impartial point of view.
Again, I apologize if this type of post is inappropriate here. I also apologize because I will likely post this again in next week's thread because there will probably be more people around to potentially respond. I really would appreciate any feedback that can be given.