Dude. This post was pointed out to me, because of a story I've shared in the past. Your roommate sounds frighteningly like me.

When I was in that situation, I had no idea what was going on. I never found words for it while I was in it. It wasn't until years later that I started to understand just what I'd gone through. I have PTSD from it, and your friend may develop it too if he hasn't already. There's hope though, because in the darkest part of it I never would have talked back like he did. I would have gotten my ass beat for it. Her behavior is abusive, emotional and physical from the sound of it. Just reading that was bringing up some bad memories .

I wish I'd had a friend to pull me out of that fire. I had to come to it on my own, and it took me 4 years. She stripped away all of my friends, I had no one who saw or cared, and no one I could count on. Granted, when the cards went down, I found a friend who was willing to be there, and he's always been very loyal and direct with me. I value that.

Now, that said: your roommate is probably going to get mad at you. He's going to dismiss what you have to say, because he's convinced himself (if he's like me) that it's normal. She may have also convinced him that no one else will love him - I believed that. She alienated me from my friends by convincing me that they were all lying bastards who just talked shit about me. So you're already on the track to losing your friend - you may be able to salvage it and him by intervening before it's too late.

I really hope it's not. I know your edit says you're going to, and I cheer for you for that. This is something really close to home for me. If he needs to know this isn't normal, show him my story. Have him get on here and PM me. He's in a miserable place and it sucks.

And that goes for anyone. If you're reading this and you think you're in a situation like this, please, feel free to PM me. I want to help you. It's the worst thing in the world, it's ruined my life even 10 years later. Even this week I've directly felt the impact of all the abuse and just how fucked up I am from it. I don't want anyone to suffer what I do from this shit.