at this point im not sure i believe in anything anymore. i recall being a hopeless romantic but after being stuck in isolation for many years and being emotionally abused and neglected, idk man; on the one hand youve hopes and dreams, and you want to fall in love with a partner and enjoy being around her but on the other; you bear witness to how fucking brutal existence can be; no friends, no family, being born ugly or short or low iq. having been through hell my whole life im already quite disillusioned, you start living in the real world; those dreams/those romantic fantasies it was all an illusion, happiness was never meant for you, and youve no choice but to deal with the harsh reality; the ugly truths, and thats when you start being more pragmatic and realistic