What have you been most tempted to do but never gone through with?

This is probably going to get buried but I've been as close as one guy can get to sleeping with the girlfriend of one of my close friends. It is easily the most complex emotional situation I've ever had to deal with.

I know a lot of people on this site will be quick to label and judge her because of her past, which makes sense. Her and my friend have broken up before because she's been proven to be emotionally involved and assumed to be physically involved with three other people.

I'm not stupid, I know I can't or won't "fix" her, but I really don't want to either. The truth is I have a huge amount of respect for her because she's great at deception, and I dig that for some reason. As fucked up as what she's doing is and if he ever found out, it would destroy him, I think it's really cool she's able to it.

It's gone from me being not attracted, to friendly, to thinking about actually getting physical and not giving a shit about my friend, to wishing she'd just leave him so I could have more "without" the guilt, to I wish she'd leave him because he doesn't trust or understand her, to I love her and nothing will ever happen between happen us.

Oh and just so we're clear, I love the deception. The lies. Living a double life. It's a lot of fun... I've realized that most people won't even listen to me enough to piece the story together with the loose ends. Playing it cool when we're together, stealing glances and grins when people are buried in their phones around us.

The parts that suck are knowing we'd have an amazing physical connection but never being able to pursuit it, destroying the trust of a person we both care deeply about, destroying people's trust in us, and having this amazing bond and connection with someone you have to describe and maintain as an acquaintance to everyone you care about.

The worst part is never really figuring out if I'm in love at a horrible time in a fucked up situation or experiencing a taste of what being in love her could be like while knowing I'll never have the chance to explore it anymore than I am now.

/r/AskReddit Thread