George Carlin had a bunch of them, and I'm paraphrasing.

Piece of cake. Just why. Why does that mean easy. If I had a piece of cake I'd take it to the cake factory so it could see other cakes. It wouldn't be hard, it be easy as pie.

Reading the riot act. You ever have your mom tell you she's going to have your dad read you the riot act when he gets home? You know what I say, let him. Tell him I already read it, and I think it's sloppy and poorly written. How about he reads me something else, like the gentleman's guide to the Golden age of blowjobs!

More than happy. How can you be more than happy? To me it sounds like a serious mental disorder. Hey you hear about Jim? He was, "shuddered", more than happy.

Giving you you're walking paper's. Did anyone ever give you walking papers? I got fired from a lot of jobs in my life, I know I look the type, and I never once got walking papers. Instead I got a guy who came into my office and said "Get the fuck out of here!".

Fine and dandy. How is it possible to be both fine and dandy. Sometimes I'm fine, and sometimes I'm dandy. This one time, for a minute, I was both fine and dandy, but no one asked me how I was!