Yup. You get put into a "choose your shitty outcome" adventure no matter what you do. Defend yourself, anger in-laws and partner and live with ongoing stress of it. Tell partner issues, have him get angry at you and defend their behavior. Sit quietly... potentially be punching bag for years to come.

People divorce over this shit. The things I've put up with haven't been as crazy as what some people deal with, but man, it's stressful enough.

My brother has learned to manage his own family and speak as a united front on his wife's behalf. I respect the hell out of him for it. You partner up, it's your job.

When my oldest was a baby, my father-in-law started yelling at me in my own home because I threw out cardboard. My husband said nothing as I retreated to another room. They stayed another hour. My husband just told me, "Wow, that was crazy." I told him how disappointed I was in his silence and told him he needed to handle it.

He needed to call his dad and tell him he wouldn't speak to his wife that way. My husband got upset and stopped talking.

A few weeks later, with nothing done, his parents come walking up to my house uninvited because his sister was arriving to be staying with us. He lets them in. I couldn't feign happiness; I was icy. Only after several minutes did the FIL give a half-assed non-apology.

He set the precedent that day that it was OK for his parents to treat me like crap. They get to do what they want.

That's ending soon. I'm tired of this shit. If we divorce over it, it'll be sad, but men, don't let it get to this point.