I was breaking it off with a guy I had dated for less than two months in my kitchen. Apparently that was the wrong place. He grabbed a butter knife and started viciously sawing at his wrist. Luckily, I got the knife away from him before he did any real damage.

THEN...

I'm trying to calm him down in the living room, he's screaming how much he loves me and he'll do anything for another chance... After probably the fourth or fifth time of me trying to explain to him why it wasn't working out, he then flops on the floor and starts pretending to have an asthma attack/seizure. He's thrashing all over the floor and "gasping" for air and after a few seconds of this terrible act, I knelt down and held him up. He then looks me straight in the eye and tells me "I'll always love you." before fake passing out (dying?). He tries really hard to hold his breath but very soon proves impossible because of the previous thrash session. He miraculously comes back to life and asks what had happened... I told him that I "thought" he had an asthma attack (I was trying to be nice and not damage his ego anymore) and I asked if he needed to go to the hospital. He said he would go only if I would be right there the whole time. No. I told him I would call his mom and let her know what was going on and would leave when she got there. Apparently, that was the wrong answer. He calls me a few demeaning names and says "I knew you didn't care about me! I didn't really have an asthma attack, I just wanted to see what you would do if you actually lost me!" Then runs to his car and speeds out of my driveway while flipping me off and yelling "BIIIIIIIITTTCHHHH".

A couple days later he took to stalking me. I should've gone to the police immediately, but I just felt terrible that I seemed to be the cause of this misadventure. Then one day after work, I saw a male coworker and the ex in a very heated argument. I tried to calm the situation, but to my ex that meant I wanted my coworkers dick in my mouth. The rest of that day was him spewing threats and me documenting them for a police report and a possible restraining order. I ended up moving 2000 miles away and thankfully have only heard from him once since.