When I was in grade 5 I was bullied pretty badly. I had a fight with a girl over a boy we liked and when I went to school the next day I was ignored by every girl in my grade. They constantly provoked me into crying and if anyone tried to talk to me they would tell them lies about how I always hated them to get them on "their side". They even played the victim to the teachers and principals, and I was told constantly to "try to see the situation from their point of view". One day, one of the girls came to me and said they had something they wanted to say. When I went to them, they said, in unison: We're sorry.....for ever being your friend.

That was like the final straw. I have a lot of gaps in my memory from that time in my life. I became severely depressed and once I even told my mother that if she didn't let me switch schools I would kill myself. Can you imagine hearing your 11 year old child say that to you? Because I can't. After three months, some of the girls came to me (when the three "leader" girls were skipping school) and said they forgave me. Not that they were sorry. That they forgave me.

It makes me ashamed to admit how much that time in my life affects me even now. I started self-harming when I was 11, was diagnosed with depression at age 14, was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder at age 17, and my mental health became so bad that I eventually dropped out of high school and still have yet to complete my diploma. Sometimes I think that I should have been apologised to by all those girls, but then I remember I started the fight that caused them all to hate me in the first place. I'm doing better now, but I still have some really hard days. And I'm sure none of them even care.