Who needs to try pills when we already have Stage Three?

Story time: My first year of college, two friends and I were entertaining a girl on our floor's questions about being a dude, and she mentioned how weird boners were, that something attached to us just grew when we were turned on. We pointed out that boners are only stage two of a three-stage process: stage one (flaccid), stage two (erect), and Stage Three, a stage too powerful to reveal to sexual partners because it was too overwhelming.

We explained that Stage Three was the end-all-be-all of penis size, strength, and ability, able to take on any task and obstacle. It is invincible, incredibly powerful, and unlimited in size. In Stage Three, our dick could effectively function as a lasso, a crane, a lighthouse - heck, we even mentioned using it as a rope and swinging on it. Story after story of anecdotal Stage Three usage was created and shared, starring our dicks as: - Wrecking balls when we tore down our first house. - Hammers to ram nails into the walls of our second house. - Zipline harnesses by swinging them over a rope and riding down the line. - Skyscrapers. - Baseball bats, swung into fast pitches at neighborhood Little League games. - Functional Boeing 747s. - Mortar launchers. - Belts. - Swords. - The Washington Monument

Several more stories came up, but you get the jist. Stage Three is amazing, and every guy has it - never really understood the point of enlargement pills or size complaints because of this.

Anyone have any of their own Stage Three stories to share?