I had the privilege of being asked to be the honorary Defense Attorney for a Navy Chief Petty Officer selectee at his initiation at NAS Moffett Field. This was my second time attending a Chief’s initiation ceremony, so I knew when the judges asked me to present my license to practice law - a license I’d purchased for a nominal fee from the selectee beforehand - they’d rule it invalid and have me purchase another. I came prepared; I’d stolen a dozen license plates from the command’s chiefs, so when asked for my law license I handed the plates over one at a time and said, "I have a license to practice in Arizona and California and Hawaii and Texas and Florida..."

The judges looked confused and held up the plates until my Command Master Chief recognized his. He leapt to his feet and roared, "Goddamnit, that’s my fucking license plate!" His outburst brought the house down... The judge quieted everyone down and announced that not only did I not have to pay for a license, but that he would be selling each license plate back to the owner for the amount I should have paid. This got a standing ovation amid another round of laughter.

Any concern that I’d alienated the entire Chief’s Mess - the backbone of the command - against me was quickly allayed when a Senior Chief pulled me aside and whispered, "I’ve never been more goddamned proud of you, Ensign. We raised you right."