I genuinely don’t remember this happening but...

When I was around 3 or 4, I pooed outside on our patio at home, round the side of the shed.

We had a big dog so my parents were pretty used to picking up poo in the back garden.

They found a poo round the side of the shed that apparently didn’t look like a dog poo and it wasn’t where the dog would usually go.

Long story short, they questioned both me and my brother and I said it was me. Apparently, I came up with some elaborate story of how the only bathroom in the house, upstairs bathroom door was locked, and I couldn’t get in so I “shimmied down the drain pipe” and went outside because I was desperate.

It seems too elaborate to make up but I have absolutely zero memory of it and cringe every time they bring it up.