Just for fun, how about a list to see how far people would go...

would you...

• kick a puppy

• stomp a puppy to death

Yes. Both of these get me the billion, and I would instantly donate 250 million dollars to animal related charities.

• eat the arm off of a living person

No. The psychological trauma of that would be too much. So no to the rest of this line.

• have sex with your mother

Yes. Sex counts as one insertion. Plus I'd make sure she was roofied first.

• have sex with your sister

I don't have a sister. If I did, then yes.

• have sex with your friend's sister, 2 weeks after she died in a car crash

Am I reading this right as necrophilia? No.

• spend the rest of your life wearing no clothes

Yes. I'd have a climate controlled house be built.

• spend the rest of your life never speaking

Yes. In fact I'd have a doctor give me surgery to ensure I never speak so I don't violate the contract.

• cut off one / both legs

No.

• cut off one / both arms

One yes, two no.

• be blinded

No. Most of what I like to do involves sight.

• be deafened

Yes. I can bypass with cochlear implant, but if that's not allowed, still yes.

• consent to have your parents euthanized when they reach 70 (if they are not there yet, and are still alive)

No.

• be banished to a deserted island with internet, but no visitors allowed

No. I like my friends and family.

• perform some sex act you hate with someone of the gender you least prefer every day for the rest of your life

Yes. I hate anyone touching my balls. I would deal with a guy touching my balls every day. And I'm not saying that as a getaround. I loathe my balls being touched by ANYONE but me.

• same as above, except only on sundays

Yes.

• you can only eat a generic protein paste for the rest of your life

No. I would die of lack of nutrition.

• every person you meet will be banished from seeing or speaking to you ever again after knowing you for 6 months

Do I get to keep knowing everyone I know now? If so, yes.

• every meal you eat in the future will be from an animal you raised from birth.

Yes. I live on a dairy farm, I raise all of the cows from birth.

• you can never go outdoors again.

Yes. As long as I can design and build the house I live in before this goes into effect.

• you can never go indoors again

Same as previous. The domicile I would build and reside in would simply be open air in a warm weather region.

• you can never use a vehicle of any type again

Yes. I assume this means nothing other than my own two feet can take me anywhere, too.

• you can never bathe again

No. I would die from (likely) an infection too soon. Our ancestors bathed. Nearly every animal bathes somehow.