Please don't judge me for my behavior 13 years ago but it's a pretty funny story even if I was a jackass.

I was at a bar with some of my buddies and I went into the bathroom to take a piss. There were 3 urinals but the middle one was out of order and in fact, was just a hole in the wall with a partially torn trash bag attempting to cover it. Being a drunk idiot, I decided to skip the wait and just start pissing in the toilet-void. As I'm pissing all of the guys in the bathroom are laughing and I'm enjoying the attention and all of the sudden one of the bar managers pops his head and and yells at me. He then abruptly turns around and leaves the bathroom.

Knowing that I'm fucked, I try to take someone down with me or hopefully in my place. Another patron rounds the corner into the bathroom and I tell him to just piss in the wall because everyone was doing it. He bites and starts pissing in the wall. Within seconds, the bar employee, accompanied by a cop walk in and grab the guy that's pissing in the wall. I thought I had pulled it off and then the bar employee looks at me and says "him too!". So, this stranger and I get escorted out of the bottom of the bar (2 stories).

Well it was still early and all of my buddies were still inside. So I look at the poor bastard that got co-kicked out with me and I had a brilliant idea in my drunken stupor. I tell him to swap shirts with me. He had red polo on and I had a yellow, striped polo on. Obviously we were both idiots considering we were BOTH kicked out but I was drunk and yeah, fuck it. So we swapped shirts in the middle of the street and walked back up the stairs to the bar. Paid our $2 cover and went and got a drink. Success!

I made it back to my friends and to their confused looks. They said they could have swore I was wearing a yellow shirt earlier. I confirmed that was indeed true. :)