I'm no expert, but it seems to me you are looking at two options. Stay in a listless, castrated marriage, in order to keep the partnership that is Raising The Kids Inc., or separate and deal with, at least for a time, the hardship of a split household, in order to move on to find passion elsewhere. I don't think either is wrong, as long as you guys don't act shitty to each other in front of your kids or bad mouth each other to your kids.

The obvious first step is to seek counseling. At least a few sessions to get some stuff out in the open in front of an impartial third party, who is also an expert.

It sounds like if you really want to stay, you're going to have to dig deep to rekindle some sense of passion and intimacy. I can relate to not being over affectionate, I'm naturally a fairly stoic guy, but believe me, there are times when I let loose with romance, passion, and love making, and my wife knows that there is fire their, even if I'm not always warm and cuddly.

It kind of sounds like you don't love your husband as a sexual partner, but more like someone you've been managing an accounting firm with for a long time.

You probably need professional help, but I would say you probably need to break your routine. The monotonous humdrum of stability can kill passion.