My job: high school teacher
Why it's the best: I get the best, or at least most unique stories that would never come up in any other job. (Sorry this post is about to get lengthy.)
Examples: Poor girl threw up in the middle of class. I patted her on the back while she went to town over the trash can, and said comforting things, while assigning other students to get a nurse, janitor, etc. Afterwards, they all complimented me on how well I handled it and asked if I had been through that type of situation before because it went so smoothly.
My students discuss politics by saying things like: Student 1: Who is winning? I've been following the debates. Student 2: Ted Cruz.
Student 1: Who's Sanders?
Student: Democrats really get me all fired up. Teacher: What about Democrats gets you all fired up? Student: Oh, just everything about them. Teacher: Well, what specific policies or values do you disagree with? Student: Confused look. Policies? Teacher: Yes. What do they support that you disagree with?
"If Sarah Palin says it, it must be true."
Student: "This book is boring! All she does is talk about herself!" Holds up autobiography.
Student walks up to me and holds out his cupped hand full of a disgustingly large puddle of red and brown goo. I stare and realize too late that he's holding out snot/blood. "Miss fattypattyy, this came out of my nose in the hallway."
When we did speeches, my students played walk up songs for each other to get pumped up because they were nervous the first time.
"Miss fattypattyy, can I write my paper about Odysseus taking down ISIS?" No.
I had a student throw the MLA guidelines out the window and type her whole essay in Comic Sans.
Oh, and I get to change lives. The looks on their faces when I know that something finally clicks, or when they started coming in my room during lunch to keep me company when they found out I eat in my room alone, or when they ask if they can take another class with me next year because they're actually enjoying class... That keeps me around.