I told my (now ex) boyfriend that he was an embarrassment to me.

We had been out the night of Halloween, we were all having a good time, and then he got too drunk. He always got too drunk. When we all got home I wanted to hang out with my friends but couldn't because his wasted ass was mad at me and trying to sneak beers into my room or out the front door so I had to go take care of him.

I did and he ended up screaming at me about a facebook message he'd seen (by looking at my messages without permission) where I made a joke to a male friend and he didn't like how it sounded. I couldn't even remember the message - it was from like six months before - but he was screaming at me so loudly my roommates asked if I was in danger.

The next morning I told him he'd embarrassed me. He made me feel like total shit, saying he'd never tell me I'd embarrassed him. Well...because I never screamed at him in front of our friends, probably. In the moment I apologized and even wrote him a letter about how sorry I was for saying that, but looking back that's the moment I realized he was abusive.

If someone makes you feel horrible for expressing your honest feelings, please examine your relationship. I didn't realize it was abuse until way too late and "I should not have said that" often means "I'm scared of how they'll react."