OK, you didn't hear this from me, but I happen to know for a fact that an extremely popular Padres Hall of Famer was gay. OK, it was Tony Gwynn, just to be clear.

After being called up to the majors in the early 80s, it was something of an open secret - the other players and management knew about it, but the press kind of kept it quiet - mostly out of pressure from the Padres FO, specifically owner (and McDonald's founder) Ray Kroc.

By all accounts it wasn't really a huge deal to the other Padres. He was nothing but an exemplary teammate, and his play on the field certainly spoke for itself - as long as he continued to win batting title after batting title, nothing in his personal life could possibly matter less.

But throughout the first couple seasons of his career, Gwynn consistently had an antagonist in Ray Kroc. Kroc used Gwynn's gayness as an excuse to use him as a whipping boy for all the Padres' troubles - he would repeatedly threaten to out Gwynn to the press if his batting average fell too low, or if the Padres didn't make the playoffs, etc.

It all came to a head at the end of another disappointing 1983 Padres season. After the season's final game Kroc cornered Gwynn in the hallway, leaned in close, and said "listen, Gwynn. I'm going to make this perfectly clear - I keep hearing about what an incredible hitter you are, but I'm not seeing it. If I don't get an unbelievable season out of you next year, I'm telling the press you're gay."

"OK...how high do you need my batting average to be?"

"I'm gonna need you to bat about .350"

Well, it was about that time that Ray Kroc realized that Tony Gwynn was about nine stories tall and a crustacean from the Paleolithic era. He screamed, "Dammit Ray Kroc! I ain't batting no tree-fiddy!" and beat him to death where he stood with his league-lightest 31-oz bat.

He batted .351 in 1984.