When I was growing up my mom was very mentally ill and I was put into a lot of bad situations that I didn't have control of. Her drinking habit didn't help with things either and I can safely say I saw my fair share of shit before I grew up, but none of the things that happened ever felt "mean". She suffered from schizophrenia, bi polar disorder, alcoholism and was usually did not take her medication. I only lived with her until I was 10, but by that time the damage was already done. Even though I moved to a stable environment, every part of my life still felt like a "fight". I had to fight to relate to people, I had to fight to fit in and I had to fight to make it to that basic daily threshold of functioning that everyone else considered "normal".
It took me a long time, but I eventually started to make peace with my situation and feel normal again. I had somewhat of a rough time in highschool, but by my last year I had a good group of friends and I actually felt okay. I had built myself up again and was starting to feel like a normal human being.
I really did see it all when I was growing up. On top of the domestic disputes, I saw my moms mind shatter and create an awful whirlwind of pain. They best way to describe living with a parent like that as a child is to think of the panic of being on a sinking ship with no escape. But I still knew deep down that none of it was meant to hurt me on purpose, none of it was "mean".
The "meanest" thing that someon ever said to me will probably sound like small potatoes compared to what could have been. It happened only because I accidentally bumped into someone. I was 22 and standing in line waiting outside to get into a bar. I was having a decent enough night and I was happy to be out with my friends. I stepped backward and bumped into a young girl behind me in line by accident. I said, "oh hi sorry" and for some reason she completely lost it on me. I'll never forget the sound of her Austrailian accent saying "don't you FUCKING talk to me you fucking hideous Neanderthal! Fuck you!" Her response didn't make any sense and even her friends were bewildered. I shrugged and didn't say anything back, but I felt like I was publicly humiliated. I'd never been spoken to that harshly by nearly anyone, let a lone a stranger, so I can honestly say I was shocked.
My friends told be to brush it off and I didn't say anything for the rest of the night. In the grand scheme of things it shouldn't have even mattered, but I was embarrassed and it really fucking hurt my feelings. I'll never forget the feeling of the cold lump in the back of my throat when I was trying to hold it together after we stopped for pizza after going out. I felt like I'd overcome so much, only to have a stranger come like a thief in the night years later and reduce me to a bubblering mess with only one sharp comment.
Anyways, the point of the story is to be kind to people, because you never know what someone else's story might be and hurtful comments can sting even years later.