Eating disorders. When I was younger, I used to think that they were something you chose to do or chose not to do. When I developed my own, I realized they weren't about willpower or vanity at all, but were just hell compulsions/obsessions that seemed inescapable. I thought it would kill me. Two years recovered now, and happier for it.

Also: acting out trauma. I thought that I was a solid person who was well-adapted from growing up in an emotionally abusive household. Turns out I just do the same shit when I binge drink, and have an addictive personality. Growing up, my dad was controlling, emotionally abusive, and an alcoholic, but I have had to reconcile that with his being a simultaneously kind, generous, and lovable man. I thought he was just choosing to be an asshole, until I grew up and realized that abusiveness can be the result of trauma, and depression, and anxiety and a whole whack of other things. Seeing the same traits in myself made me take a long, hard look at who I was and tried to change it (that was the eating disorder) and the progress still continues.

Psychosocial health and wellness are NOT to be underestimated or taken glibly. I deeply value my friends, family, doctors, and my wonderful partners who help me grow and learn.