About 5 years ago, I got invited to a house party by a boy I worked with. We had did the no pants dance several times before the party in question. He wasn’t a romantic interest though, just boredom hook ups the occasional time.

Anyway, none of my other friends/housemates wanted to come along to this party as they had exams coming up and needed to study. So I had to go solo.

I was kind of nervous going, as the only person who I really knew was the work colleague. And I didn’t want to do the deed this time. Just wanted to get drunk! So I got a 70cl bottle of vodka to help ease my nervousness and be social.

I remember getting about 2/3 way down the bottle. Then I woke up. It was the early hours of the morning. I looked around. This wasn’t my bedroom... and wait.... the bed’s soaking wet. With my piss. I had been put to bed (still fully clothed) as I must have been too fucked to make it back to my own house. It was my colleagues bed, but I was in it alone.

I was affronted. How would I ever be able to face going in to work again? But there must be a God. I heard the door creak open. There was a random boy coming in to the room clearly veryyy drunk. He didn’t even realise I was in the bed. He just flopped down on the duvet and passed out.

I rolled him in to my wet puddle of bed piss and ran home. I feel pretty bad for the other guy who obviously woke up and thought it was indeed he who pissed his friends bed.

Never been found out.