I fucked everything up with a man I fell in love with. We started out as really good friends. Dated for a bit, but decided not to pursue a relationship because he was starting a new job and I was busy with my senior year of college. We still spent a lot of time together and I found myself falling in love with him. I never said anything. Flash forward a few months. Still spending time with this guy...having sex, going to watch him and his friends play soccer, having drinks/dinner, going to movies. Practically dating. I didn't say how I felt because I assumed things would naturally fall into place (silly me). Anyway, another ex tried coming back into my life. This made me really confused, so I was trying to figure out what I wanted. Basically, I was dumb as fuck and I flip-flopped between the both of them. Told the other ex to fuck off when I figured out what I wanted. This was all within a span of a couple weeks. So after I told the other ex to fuck off (for clarity, I was pursuing the first guy I was talking about at this point), I started spending time with the guy I had fallen in love with. We got really close again and i thought everything was cool and that we were really getting somewhere. I decided to tell him how I felt and he told me he wasn't in a place where he wanted to have a "meaningful" relationship with anyone. A week later I found out he had met someone else and that I had missed my moment. We talked the other day and I asked him where I lost him because I knew that there was something between us. He said it was because I had to choose between him and my ex. He thought it should have been an effortless decision. On my side, I wanted to be sure that I wouldn't change my mind and hurt anyone in the long run. I guess I'm dumb for thinking he would wait for me. I am irrationally devastated. I have dated quite a few men and I have had my share of relationships, but nothing/no one has ever torn me up like this has. And it's my own fault, really.

TL;DR Missed my moment with the guy I fell in love with because I'm dumb and thought he would wait around for me. He has a new lady. Heart is broken.