What if, right now, you're cheating on me with some other guy.

You're drunk, and we've only been together for 3 months now but it feels like it's been forever already. Adrianna (one of your best friends) takes away your phone, so you haven't seen the text I sent you five minutes ago that reads

hey! not sure if you're still out but I hope you're having a good time, love ya!.

We're already saying the big L-word to each other. I remember when you said it. We were half asleep and you said it thinking I wouldn't notice. So the next day I bring it up, and I say it back to you. At the time I'm not sure if I actually meant it or if I was just trying to make you feel better, but I know it's true now, which sucks.

Anyway, you don't tell me you cheated on me for awhile. You play it off so well it's crazy. We go the entire summer without me knowing until you finally feel guilty enough to tell me.

And I'm heartbroken but I don't show it. And you tell me how sorry you are and that it won't happen again. You don't love him or anything. It was a one time thing. You just needed to come clean. You ask me not to be mad. You go on and on until finally I say "I'm not mad." We sit there in silence for a minute or two. You hug me, thinking eventually everything will be okay. Everything will go back to normal.

You keep talking but I'm not really listening. Talks of plans and fantasises about the future. You talk about going to your sister's wedding or something, I couldn't really hear you. All I could think about was how good the speakers in my car sounded at the time. I start to wonder if the previous owner put some aftermarket speakers in and didn't tell me.

Give her a hug, and tell her I just need sometime to be alone. She starts crying and tells me that she understands and that we'll get through this. She gets out of my car and as I'm driving home I get a text that says something along the lines of "Love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you..."

I get home and change my relationship status to single and block her on pretty much everything. Her number, facebook, snapchat (ruining our 90 day streak), all gone. Downloaded tinder and unmatch her, that's actually how we met.

I tried going through my pictures but there were too many of us, so I saved my contacts and formatted my phone. I also took down everything she's ever given me and threw it away.

It's weird because for last ten months of my life, I felt like I was so, happy. Your friends even liked me, which was actually pretty cool. But after deleting everything, it's almost like it never happened. Sometimes I wish that were true.