Ugghh, as soon as I read this post, two faces popped into my head. They're both equally deserving of death, although for different reasons.
Douchebag #1 was a guy I went to school with - he was from Detroit and moved to our town (little town in the south) in the 11th grade I think. I'm guessing he was pretty poor, as he never had a car and always wore the same clothes (always shorts, no matter how cold it got). He talked shit to everyone and was constantly in fights. He was a pretty big kid, so he typically won all his fights and most of our school was afraid of the guy. After HS, he joined the Army and from what I can tell, invested all of his salary in Affliction clothes...
I moved away from that town after school, but still would return home occasionally. It seemed like every time I went home, I'd run into D-bag #1 and he was always bragging about his latest fight. His stories were exaggerated to the point they were completely unbelievable, and he's commonly known where I'm from for his regular boast "I turned that guys face to powder." Not sure what that means, but he swears that everyone he hits, their head explodes into a mist of white powder. I'm now in my mid 30's, so don't party like that much anymore, but when I do go home and see my friends, inevitably, he's still there - wearing some ragged early 2000's Tito Ortiz shirt or something and talking about how he turned some 17 year old kid's face to powder. I've asked my best friends how come they invite him around and they all tell me the same thing - "He's really not that bad. Just ignore him talking shit, don't look him in the eye and if he tries to fight you, just back down. As long as you do that, then he's ok.." So - I've just avoided going home and hanging out with my old high school friends. That guy sucks and I feel like I'm past the point of having to fight people in my buddies apartments. I think my friend's are probably all scared of him maybe - but if they're not willing to make him leave, then that's on them at this point. But that guy sucks.
Douchebag #2. When I moved from my home town, I was dating a girl and she and I both moved away to the same new town for school. We'd been dating for a few years at that point, and were engaged and planned on getting married. Things got all kinds of fucked up, and we ended up splitting up. We both started dating other people, although our families were/are friends, so we still saw each other and hung out semi-frequently. We had been living together and when we split, I moved out. She called one day, saying that she found a roommate. She tells me it's a guy moving in, they're absolutely not dating and that she thinks he and I would be good friends. She'd told him about the program I was in, in college and he was interested and she wanted me to talk to him. As it turns out, I had some other friends coming into town that upcoming weekend - friends that she also knew, so we planned on all hanging out the upcoming weekend - me, her, my old friends and her new friend.
We meet up and I've got my friends with me and she introduces me to this guy. At the time, I was about 23, my ex was 22 or so... And this guy appears to be about 50. He's huge (not fat or overly muscular - just big. Probably 6'-5" and maybe 280 lbs), bald, with a giant goatee and tattoos everywhere. Like, his face is tattooed, his neck has a swastika, and from his shoulders down, there's not an blank piece of skin on him that I can see.
Right off the bat, it's obvious of two things: 1), they're definitely together and 2), they're both on something. They keep making out and feeling each other up and both are randomly disappearing to the bathroom and coming back snorting, sniffling and acting like people on coke do (weird mouth movements, twitchy, etc). This is totally out of character for the reserved girl I'd known my whole life - the daughter of a doctor who was now in law school. Although we'd both partied plenty, this was just not at all who I'd known. He keeps bragging about all this stuff and she'd tout it too - like things she was supposed to be proud of. "Oooh - tell wisertime how you used to do porn!!" "Ooh - wisertime, I bet you didn't know, but Dbag 2 has 5 kids!!! His oldest is my age!! Can you believe that!!" I just stood there in a daze, sick to my stomach and embarrassed for my old friends that happened to have joined us. He asks me about school - the program I'm in and I tell him and then he asks if it's something he'd need a high school diploma for. Again, I'm just speechless - he starts telling me how after his kid was born, he quit school and started stripping, even though he was underage. That turned into a gay porn gig, which eventually got him a few straight roles. He'd been in and out of prison and was recently released when he met my ex at a bar...
I go into the bathroom and he follows me in and asks me if I want some coke. I told him no, to go fuck himself and leave me the fuck alone. "What??" he says - "but xyz told me you were cool." I just walked out, grabbed my friends and left. As I left, I turn around and he's making out with my ex at the table I just left. I don't get it - it was like she was hypnotized. Beautiful girl, graduated college with a 4.0, father is a doctor, she's in law school and she's dating a washed up gay porn dude that slings coke.
A few months later, she starts calling more frequently and although we weren't dating, we were still somewhat friends. I hung out with her a bit and come to find out, she'd given him thousands of dollars, she took out credit cards in his name and bought him a car. He was pulled over and arrested for failure to pay child support. She got him out of jail and a few days later, he was again arrested for the same thing - for a different kid. Again, she bailed him out and that time he skipped town and went back to live with his ex and some of his kids. After a while we sort of drifted apart, although I think she's cleaned up and straightened out - but I really don't know.
Either way - the world would be a better place with neither of those guys in it.
TL;DR - Wisertime07 knows 2 royal D-bags. One I went to school with, who's eternally living the life of a wannabe UFC fighter and the other, an older coke dealer my ex shacked up with.