I posted about my own experiences here: https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/61x7hg/what_account_setup_do_you_have_for_joint_finances/dfii59m/

Basically... you are correct, she is wrong. However, "I'm right and you are wrong" never works in a relationship, unfortunately.

/r/Palestrina was very succinct here:

The fact that you are left "holding the bag" of managing the finances while your wife is apparently able to refuse to participate in conversations about workability is ... well, it's troubling. This doesn't sound like a relationship between two equal adults; it feels like she's forcing you into the "adult" role while she is free to both make demands while refusing to work with you to implement them.

I can't help but agree. I was in this kind of situation for 11-12 years with my ex wife, and it was ultimately one of the 3 major issues that landed us on divorce island. My ex also would job hop as soon as she got bored, and never really earned much money because she never stayed anywhere long enough to build a career, again leaving me to "hold the bag".

All I can recommend is that you do couples counselling, probably a lot of it, and see if you can work out the communication issues. If you cannot resolve your communications issues (or what sounds like her communication issues), then nothing else will be solved either.

Good luck friend.