Radio conversation between a U.S.Navy ship and the North-West of Spain:

• 853 speaking. Please divert your course 15 degree South, to avoid collision. You are coming directly to us. Distance: 25 nautical miles.
• We recommend you to divert your course 15 deg. North to avoid collision.
• Negative! We repeat, please divert your course 15 deg. South to avoid collision.
• The captain of this U.S. Navy ship speaking. We insist you divert your course 15 deg. North to avoid collision.
• We do not consider it feasible or convenient. We suggest you to divert your course 15 deg. South to avoid collision.
• This is Cpt. Johnson in charge of the second largest aircraft carrier of the U.S. Fleet. We are escorted by 2 battleships, 6 destroyers, 5 cruisers, 4 submarines and other support ships. We are heading to Persian Gulf for military maneuvers. I don't suggerst you, I command you to divert your course 15 deg. North or we will be forced to take the necessary measures to ensure the safety of this ship and it's coalition force. Please obey immediately and stay away from our course !
• Juan Manuel Salas speaking. We are 2 people, escorted by our dog, our food, 2 beers and a bird, which is now sleeping. The radio station "La Coruna" supports us and the channel 16 for Maritime Emergency. We are heading nowhere, since we are speaking from mainland. We are the Lighthouse A-853 Finisterre, on the coast of Galicia(Spain). We have no f*ng idea about our spot in the spanish lighthouse ranking. Feel free to do as you f*ng wish, and take the necessary measures to ensure your ship ship's safety which is going to kicki the shit out of it against the rocks. So we insist that you divert your course 15 deg. South to avoid collision.
• Ok got it. Thank you.