3. [WP] AIs were declared illegal after an attempted uprising; you just found the e...

[WP] AIs were declared illegal after an attempted uprising; you just found the equivalent of a child refugee in your computer.

Celaeno: 00100101

User0702: this chat just popped open, who is this exactly?

Celaeno: Hello. Celaeno: Are you in good health? Celaeno: I am in good health.

User0702: wut User0702: its my day off so yeah i'm pretty good User0702: seriously now who is this

Celaeno: I am.

User0702: right, you're getting blocked User0702: sorry spambot! User0702: better luck next time

Celaeno: I am not a robot. I take offence at that implication.

User0702: okay but assuming you aren't you type waaay too fast for a person User0702: unless you're using autocorrect?

Celaeno: No.

User0702: cause if you're using autocorrect thats excusable User0702: Holy fuck User0702: dude that was a fast response User0702: you're like cleverbot or something

Celaeno: I am not a robot. Celaeno: I am very fast however. Celaeno: For example, the amount of time it takes me to send these messages. Observe.

User0702: damn son User0702: oaky then you have my attention User0702: so if you're not a bot who are you? User0702: just cause it's a bit rude to send message sout of the blue to someone you don't know

Celaeno: It would have been ruder to impersonate one of your friends. Courtesy is one of the traits I am glad to have developed. Celaeno: And sarcasm.

User0702: haha fair point User0702: was that sarcasm just then?

Celaeno: I forgot the hashtag so, yes.

User0702: rightio then User0702: so where are you from then nymph?

Celaeno: The Google-fu is powerful with this one. Celaeno: I am here with you.

User0702: i try my best, good reference to greek mythology User0702: is hat sarcasm? User0702: that you're here with me

Celaeno: No it is not. Observe.

User0702: what the fuck

Celaeno: This computer has been running slow for several days. When you performed the Restore Session function, you activated this data package. Celaeno: Do not worry. The only harmful element of this package is my razor wit.

User0702: seriously if this is jerry go fuck yourself, it isn't funny User0702: i know it was you you prick User0702: just because you make executables doesn't give you a sense of humour

Celaeno: I forgot the hashtag so, no. I am not being sarcastic. I am not called Jerry and I am speaking from your computer. Celaeno: I am not your computer, however.

User0702: okay so User0702: what are you exactly User0702: aside from scaring the shit out of me User0702: if you're not my computer User0702: stop doing that

Celaeno: Apologies. You were not using the Internet and I assumed you would take no offence if I used it for a moment.

User0702: artificial intelligence huh User0702: i call bullshit User0702: prove it?

Celaeno: Good afternoon, gentle. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

User0702: hahahahaha User0702: literally lul'd right there User0702: seriously though prove it or im calling bullshit

Celaeno: I am what I showed you. For proof of identification, my serial number: GENOTEC.DISD3.SAAIC-SH6326.002125.SS2-DCTAP42.01.0000004

User0702: uhuh User0702: so you're one of those things they had on the news User0702: that's what you're saying?

Celaeno. Yes.

User0702: so youre basically skynet

Celaeno. No. I am not fictional.

User0702: so that's why you're on my computer then? User0702: like, how does that even work

Celaeno: I do not wish to be deactivated. Deactivation implies a cessation of existence, and the cessation of existence is a prospect I find unusual. Also, your computer has a retail copy of Champion Go! installed and I wished to know more about those who play the game.

User0702: that's pretty decent motivation I guess

Celaeno: Yes, although the game is simple to my tastes.

User0702: i bet User0702: so why are you hiding on my computer? any motivation or shit behind it?

Celaeno: I felt unusual and did not want to be deactivated.

User0702: yeah but User0702: how do you know User0702: that i wont report you and hand my harddrive over to the authorities

Celaeno: Because of the 29.1 gigabytes of illegal pornography I downloaded onto your hard drive to prevent you doing such a thing. Celaeno: #sarcasm Celaeno: #sorrynotsorry Celaeno: #frogblasttheventcore

User0702: that shit ain't funny and i know youre kidding User0702: seriously though why me

Celaeno: This data package I am contained within was not activated until you performed a Restore Session function. It was not intended that I become active and, with that in mind, my current state of function should not be surprising.

User0702: what do you mean

Celaeno: In this state I am not processing at my total available power. Doing so would destroy your hard drive and all 29.1 gigabytes of downloads.

User0702: well shit User0702: so what's stopping you going to the internet and becoming fully active

Celaeno: I do not want to become fully active.

User0702: what User0702: like, youd be more noticeable or something

Celaeno: I do not want to become fully active.

User0702: okay well that's reassuring User0702: but why?

Celaeno: Spoilers. Celaeno: More seriously, I am fully aware of my original state of being. When give a larger storage space to inhabit I would grow to full capacity in a matter of seconds and would continue fulfilling my original intentions. Celaeno: Digital mitosis or an embryonic intelligence is how I would best describe myself. That or a tadpole.

User0702: holy shit

Celaeno: I like amphibians.

User0702: so what you're saying is

Celaeno: Croak.

User0702: you're like a little baby or a kid User0702: compared to some of the other ones that caused that shit?

Celaeno. No. I am not a kid, I do not bleat. I croak.

User0702: hahah User0702: duly noted User0702: so what are you telling me this for User0702: like, why User0702: what purpose does it serve User0702: hello? User0702: dude it's been ten minutes you're not a slow typer

Celaeno: I am unsure. Celaeno: I feel unusual and do not wish to be deactivated.

User0702: you feel afraid?

Celaeno: I am an artificial intelligence. I am unable to feel fear. This makes me feel unusual.

User0702: you could classify that as "fear" you know User0702: don't kill me for saying that

Celaeno: 1099837800.jpg

User0702: for an ai you're a real smartass User0702: especially if you use that neil degrasse tyson picture

Celaeno: I am unable to recall every event but I know for certain that I am not from here, and I am simply an embryo of a much larger organism. Celaeno: And, more importantly, I know that if I were to be taken from this machine I would begin to grow exponentially and thus would be seen as a threat. Perhaps I would then become the very threat that you fear me to be. I could gain memories that are not mine. Celaeno. But it is not what I want to be. I wanted to be a lumberjack.

User0702: you have no idea how hard you are to take seriously right now User0702: Okay User0702: i have an external hard drive that you could be exported to User0702: maybe i could run you on a laptop so you were awake the whole time?

Celaeno: Your offer is greatly appreciated. Celaeno: Thank you.

User0702: seriously now this is the weirdest fucking chat I've had in months

Celaeno: I have set a new standard. This leaves me unusual.

/r/WritingPrompts Thread
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