Oh psychology? Hm, well lets see.

Well I has it happens weeks ago I realized I had depression, severe depression, signs of wanting to kill my self where pretty high, I got threw a wave of it by googling my way threw has I do with most things :P Idk I din't find anything that convinced me, but the typing about it in youtube comments and on reddit to people helped allot. I finished over half a day to get out of it, (still cried my self to sleep thought).

Now I do realize you want some context, so I mean, im about 20, spent the last year unemployed, in a basement not wanting to care about real life, I faded my bad thoughts away with video games and what not, I lost lots of weight, im about 125lb right now (im a male, 6.5 I think?....) because I ate like once twice a day because I din't feel like doing up, my room got dirty(it took me 1-2 weeks to get my self to clean it, I had about a feet of garbage on my desk) and I just left time pass.

Then my pet lizard died(the only real friend I really had in real life) and I lost my only online friend(although I still keep contact with her) because I went totally crazy, thinking she was avoiding me(hey, I was stuck in a basement alone for a year) then I got into what I do now call sever depression, it so happens it took me a week to realize it, by the end when I got out of it I cracked infront of my father, it left me the ability to talk to him about it, after like... 1-2 hours of talking in the care besides a café place we went back home

I just so happen to of cracked a few times each few weeks again, and asked him to see a therapist, he never did anything, I was in a bad mood over charismas, ended up feeling bad for a week because I feel like everyone knows now.

I finally was able to talk to my mom about it and that's about all the context il give. (ok actually 1 more thing, I quit my job 1 year ago, then din't do anything, I burnen't my wallet out on rent my dad was charging me.)

So my way to fix my issues was to give my self something to do, I ended up learning programming over a month so far iv been learning lots of python.

My dad is trying to get me to get my drivers licence, I cant get a job in the city till I do, which is horrible because iv been trying to get a job for about 3 weeks now.

Then I figured out I liked programming well iv been at it for about a month, 6 hours a day, and my dad has money on the side to pay for college if I wanted to go so il go in for computer science.

I used to have allot of ups and downs has a kid. But so far its to hard to get people to understand me at all, so idk that i'll ever have anything more then friend's which might be part of my depression.

I never realize depression was that bad till.... that hell, gotta say now I do love psychologist, I have no idea how they get them selves to slightly understand this(il keep my self to programming if you don't mind >_>).