I was 19 when I lost my virginity too. He wasn't a virgin, but he also wasn't placing ANY unspoken, implied expectations on me based on his prior experience. Honestly, in the first 5 years of having sex, I didn't have a lot of it with my bfs, nor did I really enjoy it much. I remember thinking "they said this would feel amazing and pleasurable, and it's not...what a rip off!" ... because I had been having amazing clitoral orgasms practically my whole life, by myself. And "society" made it seem like sex would create the same pleasure. But it's not true. It wasn't until I was married and super comfortable with one man AND with my own body, did I learn how to contract certain muscles and angle myself certain ways while having sex in order to bring myself to vaginal orgasm. So there's that... which makes me also wonder if you have considerable body image issues too? I know if you are feeling like you're too "unattractive" in some way, it can make you shy about being on top because he has the full view. But I'll tell you this... in the heat of the moment, he loves your body and doesn't give any consideration to supposed "flaws" you may see in yourself. What's hot is you being IN your own body, owning it, loving it... giving him a piece of you. You have to love your own body first before you can begin to exude naked confidence. So if you do have a low self-esteem about your body to begin with, then that would be a contributing factor to how (un)confident you are in the bedroom.

I prefer missionary because it's the position I most easily orgasm in... so I don't really care if it's seen as "the boring position"... and if my man truly cares about me feeling good and having an orgasm, then he'll do whatever I tell him it takes. Guys love when you have an orgasm and ENJOY sex, instead of laying there feeling afraid and unsure (which often leads to "starfishing" - just laying there motionless while he thrusts away)... but in honest reality - he shouldn't be expecting you to do much more than missionary for a while. Certainly not in the first week of having sex. And if he's subtly implying that you're not doing 'enough' or that you're being boring, I'd say think about this guy as the guy you gave your virginity to and move on to finding someone who isn't so selfish and inconsiderate...