I recently drew up a financial plan for my boyfriend and I. My dad has done a lot of financial planning so I'm very focused on paying off debt, not accruing debt, working on my credit score, pay bills on time, etc. My boyfriend had 5 different collections, doesn't remember when he pays his bills, we just got a hospital bill for him from two years before we started dating, etc.

Recently we got into a huge argument about him going to Jack in the Box. I've spent weeks drawing out a financial plan, working out the kinks, and figuring out what bills we are paying when (including his last remaining collections) and he went and spent 8$ because he didn't want to spend 10 minutes in the kitchen. After going back and forth with him offering to make it up to me and getting irritated I was "upset about a cheeseburger", I Finally just yelled "THIS ISNT ABOUT THE CHEESEBURGER. This is about the thought process that led to that decision and to ignore all the planning and work I've done to secure our future." I pointed out how it was all for us: the planning, the financial restrictions, us living paycheck to paycheck when we don't need to, etc. This was all for our debt free, financially secure future. I flat out told him if he doesn't want to do the financial plan (that was his idea) that's totally okay - but moving forward I can not and will not plan a future with someone who makes decisions that can put our financial security in jeopardy. I want a house, a family, vacations, etc. and financially insecure people don't get those things (or don't get to keep them). (And because my dude is rock solid he agreed completely and actually understood where I was coming from and that he wants the same future. He understands that that means work and strict living sometimes).

You need to have the same talk with your girlfriend. Financial security is part of being an adult, not debt. You cannot have a viable and stable future if she is not willing to "see the light" on the issue. Debt can ruin your life and take everything you have. It's not just a bill to pay.