I’m in a relationship with a guy similar to this. He’s dated/talked to girls but I am the first girl he’s called his girlfriend and it’s taken nearly a year now to get him to the point where he’s comfortable calling me his girlfriend (we are in our early 20’s). The two of you have met each other’s friends/family…this goes above and beyond a typical FWB. Most FWBs don’t get very involved in each other’s lives outside of the bedroom. I can understand why you would clarification.

First of all, do you want him to be your boyfriend? Be sure you know what you want before you bring it up with him. I would just casually bring it up sometime when the two of you are hanging out. You say that you two have joked around the subject before but you need to phrase the question or what you say in a direct way that demands a serious answer. You also need to be firm—would you still be interested in continuing what the two of you have if he doesn’t want a relationship with you? If not, then you need to state that. Maybe something along the lines of "I've really enjoyed getting to know you the past few months and I like you a lot and you're the only guy I want to be with. I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page before I continue this." I am in the stage of my life where long, confusing FWB situations are just aggravating and I’d rather be with someone I want to be with then string something along that I don’t really care about. I think that going into the conversation with confidence may be the nudge he needs to come clean with his feelings. I know my bf was like this because he’d never been in a relationship before and really appreciated me stepping up and saying something because he had the same concerns I had but was a little shy because of his lack of experience.

As a forewarning, I will say that when I talked to my bf about this in earlier stages of our relationship, he kind of freaked out. Not that he didn’t want to be with me, but the title of “girlfriend” freaked him out for personal reasons due to his upbringing, parent’s divorce, etc. I told him that I pretty much felt like he was my boyfriend, we acted like a couple and I didn’t want to be with anyone else. He agreed that we were exclusive and he also didn’t want to be with anyone else, but he was still hesitant on the title and he asked me to let him figure that out on his own. I respected that and dropped it and never brought up the title thing again. We both knew that what we had was special and a title wasn’t completely necessary as long as we were on the same page. Slowly but surely, he has been coming around. At first he’d just say I was a girl he was seeing, then he started calling me his girl, and now he just calls me his girlfriend—and he did it all on his own. I’m just saying that it may be due to your boyfriend’s inexperience with relationships that has stunted the progression and has caused him to hesitate with the official title even if the two of you are basically in a relationship. You need to communicate with him, though, and make sure the two of you are on the same page at least.