I'm in a similar situation as you once were... stuck with my son's dad who was a serial cheater. Very disgusting, but after catching him, he and I broke up, tried to work things out (which didn't work in the end) and right around that time covid started. Long story short, we ended up living together and only co-parent. No marriage or relationship or anything. Only roommates who raise a child together.

It kinda sucks because just like you the thought of being in a relationship makes me want to tare out of my skin! I go out on dates and can't even bring myself to give a light kiss. I feel bad because my dates have been mostly decent people, as in, there's nothing wrong with them.