I feel like I went through a carwash for my heart. This was hard to do, but I feel a lot clearer. Many kind people here reminded me that these traits reflect values (calmness, stability) of his that I was originally attracted to. People also reminded me that I need to build more fun time for myself and more intimate time for us. Both seem hard to do, but will be worth the effort. I really appreciate the time you took to respond. I'm not ready to divorce. I have work to do on myself. We have work to do together. Then reevaluate.

I'm glad you have the lucidity to grasp this situation. For someone who's against pot you seem quite mindful of your situation and this will help you and the loved ones in your life in spades.

I'll give you this advice as a pothead; smoking weed provides a very comfortable and easy way of being introspective. Most people who are against weed are simply afraid of this introspective and encountering someone who smokes weed and seems haply aloof with themselves will cause anxiety because of this disconnect. There are ways without drugs to get to achieve this affect. Meditate and become introspective; know yourself, know how to make yourself happy and your life will be a much brighter and happier place to wake up and live in every day.

My perspective is one who's mother opted to take the easy way out and instead of working to fix the issues, she bolted across the country to tour the country in a motor home with some old rich dude and is out of my life almost completely. A woman that can both stand up for her beliefs and at the same time try and take a step back to re-evaluate the situation really restores my faith in humanity, and I thank you for this. It's really quite a refresher from the abysmal stories you here in this sub. Your husband is a lucky guy, and I'll bet he knows it.