You articulated this beautifully. I don't know if we've ever interacted, but I just wanted to say I always appreciate your comments and hearing your perspective.

I relate in a small way to OP. My biological heritage is American Indian and Eastern European. My adoptive dad's heritage is also Eastern European. My adoptive father is very hurt that I want to embrace my American Indian heritage as much as the Eastern European heritage that I was given from both of my father's. He sees that as a rejection of him. He doesn't get that it has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me. That's it's possible to embrace one side of myself and my family, without rejecting the other. It's difficult for both of us, and I don't know what I can do to help him. I've given him love and reassurance and patience, but I can not do his own internal work for him, especially since he does not seem to want to do it.