Thank you so much for the reply! In response to some of your points.

1. I was mostly ashamed for not following through with those original references because I knew they were once very glowing. I had a great relationship with two of my professors and had encouragement from several others. While I know they are more than likely disappointed in my efforts the last few years I hope I will be able to give them some understanding for my behavior.

4/5. I am certainly not against the lab work, since it would be far more rewarding than my current job, in an intellectual sense. My restaurant job really is amazing though, which is one reason why it has been hard to branch out. Including the pesky interest from my loans, I'm over halfway done with the 75k I started with in 6 years time and had money to buy a house with my wife and begin building some savings. At this point yes, I likely should find lab work there at least part time so I can continue to pick away at these student loans with my lucrative current job.

The real crux of it is how my college career ended and really how this whole thing began. My father fell back into alcoholism the last few years of college which really