She normalized having wild drug fueled nights that you're not a part of. She's able to do that because she's found a free baby sitter for her responsibiities. It wouldn't be all that surprising to find out that drugs are the onlyh boundaries she's pushing. Your marriage is dead because it's a marriage of convenience at this point. You're losing more than gaining anything. Ask yourself if this life is remotely close to the marriage you had in mind when you tied the know. If yu're wise you'll divorce and find a happy life, if you're lucky she'll see the destruction she's causing but it's likely that if you don't make her face the reality you're just gonnga be taken for a ride.