AITA for continuing to refuse to attend family holidays because I am no-contact with my brother over a betrayal that happened 5 years ago?

NTA. My mom, an only child, left, moved far away and did not want contact with her family. My Gparents had my sister and I as executors etc. My sister became increasingly aggravated that I got married first and had first grandchild, so she fabricated an entire scenario of my being inadequately unable to care for or have any say whatsoever in the care of my grandfather. I did not care about the financial aspects but he passed without my knowledge of his being in the hospital and not being able to there with him, it was just her. I was really close to this set of grandparents so it was so very hard to experience this chain of events. Everyone believed her story and I lost most everyone to her lies. I tried to attend family gatherings, the ones that I was actually invited to, with her in attendance, with a forgive and forget attitude but I found them so emotionally draining and upsetting as she would get me alone to say things to hurt me and my kids. My stepmother (thankfully) was witness to one of these situations and it helped my dad and her understand that my sister could actually be a jerk. (But you know all that unconditional love stuff, they love us both equally, etc). I slowly realized that I did not need that emotional crap being dumped on my kids and I each time we would see her. So I stepped away. I am glad I did but sometimes it is hard and there are times I harbor resentment that she did this and turned people against me with lies but I then realize that it is better this way as they believe her and that their judgement against me is based on her lies. To me my decision makes sense and I do admit there are times, especially around birthdays and holidays, that I get a bit sad but it is not hard to get over or get through being sad. It has been 20 years. You could at sometime want to reinstate contact but that is not for anyone else to decide when you should, that’s up to you. NTA for your sibling doing behind-your-back-sneakery that leads to more than just losing a new position but could possibly negatively affect your future career moves and all because of money, especially since you got them the job in the first place.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread