NTA. She's caring for a newborn and an adult with a major medical issue. Nobody can do all that without help and not truly suffer. It's also DANGEROUS to have an exhausted person trying to do everything. Lack of sleep and stress will make someone physically clumsy, forgetful, all kinds of things you don't want or need in your situation.

Listen, I've been with my spouse for more than 20 years and we have actually have an expressly communicated, standing rule that if one of us thinks the other is in serious trouble, it's the partner's *job* to hit the override and call for help. We have discussed specific scenarios that trigger actions like calling the doctor, taking the other person to the doctor, and summoning the in-laws for aid. Your wife can feel however she wants about it but if she won't listen to reason and is putting herself and others in danger by being too stubborn to accept help, then it's time to call the reinforcements, stage an intervention (figuratively speaking) and help her understand that trying to be superwoman not only isn't expected, it's NOT HELPFUL.