NTA

From reading your comments.

So do this - if someone else told you what you just told us, what would you tell them to do. Because the majority here see how he is treating you horribly. You deserve better, your daughter deserves. you to spent thousands of dollars to appease his "allergies". But he's sweet to your daughter and yet his emotions then swing wildly at you.

I understand you are a highly empathetic, trusting emotional person who wants to make sure others are okay (I am like that too minus a bit of the trusting)

So do this - if someone else told you what you just told us, what would you tell them todo. Because the majority here see how he is treating you horribly. You deserve better, your daughter deserves.