AITA for not wanting to pay for my step daughters 18th bday?

I’d be extremely concerned by those grades as well. The As in PE and cooking don’t count for much; computer is good, provided she’s learning programming and not how to type or basic HTML.

That said... while I think you’re right to not pay for a venue for a big party, you should consider how much value you place on the relationship with her. Your stance on earning things is right, imo, and a great thing to teach children - but relationships with people we love aren’t always so transactional. You could compromise by taking her and 2 or 3 friends out to a nice dinner, not because she earned it, but because celebrating this birthday is important to her and she is important to you. That sort of gesture is worth a lot, but only when it is sincerely, freely given - not transactional. Good luck!

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