ESH. What Jack did was horrible. Taking his electronics, making him apologize, and taking the 800 makes sense. But then you let Tom get involved and you gave the car to your stepdaughter (should have sold it or withheld it for awhile). It sounds like Tom has bullied your son and you were okay with that. In a lot of your post and comments you're blaming your Ex when you flat out admit you deliberately sought to limit your ex's contact and ability to see his son. You downplay the powerplays Tom pulled and write Iit off as "well Tom is old fashion." You are guilty of parental alienation and you fucked up by letting Tom impose his will on your son. Your son's behavior didn't happen in a vacuum. He probably learned bullying by watching Tom.