I have a tough time with this one and I’m gonna go on a limb and say there’s a lot of information missing. OP starts out by describing his wife as “not conventionally pretty quick“. And then comparing her to another woman who he states is beautiful. I have to assume that your could tell that you felt this way.
I would be mortified if my husband described me to people as “not conventionally beautiful“.
It may be true, but in his eyes I should be the most beautiful person in the world. Likewise her to you (me to him).
Your wife’s brazen and inappropriate comments, tell me there’s something deeper festering below. Even the bitchiest of women typically don’t make comments this inappropriate to people who are otherwise supposed to be a friend. Or at the very least the partner of a friend.
Does she have a history of behaving this way towards women in general? I can’t imagine this is the only woman she’s ever been around who is “more conventionally beautiful“ than she is….
For the record - I was the “hot girl” the wives were mean to when they met me. I was older than all of them (several years) and didn’t have the energy to play their reindeer games of superiority. They will all group together on outings and conveniently forget to tell me they all decided to wear matching hats or some other stupid shit that is designed to make me feel inferior.
I told my husband that I love him and I know he loves his friends, but this was exhausting, and at 40, I’m done with “mean girls”.
I called the women to lunch and asked to walk it out. I asked point blank what their issue with me was. The answer?
Essentially they were tired of hearing from their husbands how “badass” I was and how “hot I am” for “my age” (again I was about 10 years older than the wives - the husbands all married younger, my husband married older)….
I applied some empathy and said “I don’t think they’re trying to be disrespectful. They worship you. Perhaps they’re just excited their buddy finally found someone fun he wants to be with?”
They never spoke to me again. Fortunately we moved to another state and it worked itself out organically. My hubs sees the boys a few times a year….we don’t plan couples vacations with them anymore. He doesn’t miss it and neither do I.
We’ve also made new friends - who like us. Not him, not me - us.