It's not wrong of you to find happiness somewhere else but it is wrong of you to judge her actions after the breakup. Breakups are difficult and everyone has there own way of dealing with it. If she had the hindsight to say i'm gonna be petty as fuck, then she knew what her own reaction was going to be. I was broken up with after five years and went through what she was going through rage and feeling unwanted but I couldn't drink at the time for medical reasons so instead I bad mouthed/devalued him completely and acted like the whore of Babylon online. It was not very nice but my first breakup so learning curve I guess.

Now fast forward about a month later going out on Halloween. I was over the hurt and wished them the best but one of the lads got really drunk and went on repeat about how I deserved better and just really ruining my mood bringing up my breakup for a bit. I ended up with just one of the girls because the other three people went home. She was great got me out of my comfort zone so I was talking to everyone. We ended up talking to two lads a bit younger who were up for us going back to theirs. My new friend was really up for it so it was just me who was the one stopping it. The lads lived far enough away normally so I wouldn't have to see them again after, which was a plus. My mom also thought I would be staying at my nieces but we ended up going to different places, so I had a free night.

I really had to weigh it up because the talk from the lad earlier did bring back some stuff. I ended up having to come up with a really good excuse of why I couldn't go and bringing the girl to the side and saying why I just didn't feel up for it. I'm not looking for a medal for not having a one stand because to be honest if that's what helps others get through a breakup that's their way. I felt kind of bad because the girl was keen on her one and wondered if the age difference was a problem, I really had no answer being new to the single scene so I felt a bit useless on that part. She was really understandable especially since I told her it was the first person I ever slept with and gave me some good advice. It was honestly a great night because I felt really out going but still stayed true to myself.

So to answer again no you aren't an asshole for breaking up with someone but you have got to realize that their actions are entirely their own and its unfair to judge them for it. In another months time they will have calmed down and moved on to someone or something else that keeps them too busy. She may not have wanted it to end which is why she is being petty or may just be spiteful either way she is gonna learn that the only one who's actions she needs to stay accountable for are her own. If shes with a guy you don't like don't pay attention. If its out of spite she will grow tired of him and if she doesn't that means that she really likes him and you should leave her be. You shouldn't focus on your exes actions or possible actions so much is not healthy. Stop wondering what they are doing and focus on yourself, you wanted to be happy so be happy. This was extremely long apologies.

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