Clearly and obv NTA and all that but only 4 years is fucking unacceptable. Really don’t want to get into this convo but that really pissed me off. On a side note, why the fuck is your wife friends with someone who is willingly and knowingly married to someone like that? You’d figure, nobody would want to have any type of connection to those things. Blows my mind, either way your, not so genius wife, might want to rethink this especially since you say she knows what happened to you. I also always wondered if women ask their friends to text their husbands to let them know they’re too “controlling” or whether they feel they have the right to interfere with someone else’s marriage? Anyways, considering a divorce seems pretty hardcore tbh. Since she said you guys never even had that conversation, I’d recommend having that conversation and making it very clear that you won’t allow your children to be anywhere near a pedophiles house. That’s just fucking ridiculous, unacceptable and fucking disgusting.